Added: Kelcie Justis - Date: 28.11.2021 21:25 - Views: 38472 - Clicks: 5211
But psychological astrologer Jennifer Freed, Ph. Freed says that crushes have a lot to tell us about ourselves—she sees them as rooted in our own unmet needs—and that they can actually serve to kick-start our mojo, even if we never act on them. Below, with her writing partner Melissa LowensteinFreed explores the meaning of an adult crush, and what to do the next time one strikes. In the teen years, hormones—along with an intense need for mirroring—create the perfect storm for heart-wrenching attraction. Eros stretches his cherubic little bow, and, seemingly out of nowhere, someone becomes the object of our fascination—sometimes, to an unreasonable, insatiable degree.
You may have violated your values to pursue your crush, or given more of yourself than is healthy to them because you were desperate to be in their company. These persistent and sometimes destructive infatuations are rooted in unmet needs: They are a forceful combination of the unconscious wishes and desires we have neglected and our desperation to be fully known and expressed.
The upside of intense crushes is that they can be a creatively compelling source of growth and self-understanding.
They can help us re-connect with a part of ourselves that we have been neglecting or actively suppressing. They can awaken our libidinal selves or otherwise add excitement, and provide inner space for autonomy in highly relational, structured lives. Crushes often al a projection of a dormant part of our own psyche—a part that has been buried or suppressed. The more we try to move away from the unacknowledged part, the more deliciously alluring it becomes—like a freshly baked cookie placed before forbidden to eat sweets. The passion and obsession felt for the object of the crush is really a longing for that part of ourselves.
What characteristics or behaviors of that person knock you off your feet? How are those things like you or unlike you? The feelings of emotional arousal a crush evokes strike us like lightning, awakening us to repressed memories and longings—indeed, to our very life force.
This is why we may feel like we literally cannot live without the object of our affections. Far too often, when drawn like a meteor to someone other than their partner, people rush to the conclusion that the partner is not fulfilling them.
More accurately: Crushes reveal parts of ourselves that we have not courted for a long time. They al unlived aspects of our full and embodied expression. Her other relationships were healthy, but some hidden part of her was fulfilled by the inconsistency she felt with her crush. Sometimes crushes serve the purpose of enlivening an otherwise committed, devoted domestic life. My friend Laura talked about her three-year crush; how a day was made euphoric if she had contact with him, and so dull if not.
Looking back, Laura realized that the sheer energy of the obsession had animated her life with vivid color during a particularly challenging period in her family and professional lives. She was walking the safe sidewalks of home and family in the outer world…and riding the cascading rapids of lows and highs in her fantasy world. A crush can provide a private space for vitality and excitement in a life full of responsibilities that rarely has a moment of complete autonomy.
Being in the thick of a crush can make us feel sexy and beautiful, and can inspire us to enhance our self-care, which in turn makes us feel more appealing. The world can seem more alive—music, nature, sex, and food all become more sensually stimulating when we are awash in the emotional high of a crush. It can point us toward parts of ourselves that want more attention and development.
A crush can bring Technicolor to a life that has faded to more dismal hues. There is no moral wrongdoing in harboring a crush; the problems come when we act them out, possibly against our own values or in ways that harm others. Let the powerful longing for the other turn you toward yourself. Gently allow the part of yourself that you project onto your crush to sit at the table with all your other parts, and to be more fully expressed in your life.
Entertain the libidinous charge and the heightened energy, but keep directing it back into your own self-exploration and development. If you have a committed romantic partner, bring your sexy back to them and fold it into your partnership. You may find that your crush serves a purpose you did not predict. In helping you live out all the valuable aspects of yourself and in getting your sensual and sexual selves to re-awaken, it may dramatically improve—even transform!
Jennifer Freed, Ph. Freed is also the executive director of AHA! Melissa Lowenstein, M. She has worked as a freelance writer and editor sinceand has contributed to, ghostwritten, and co-authored over twenty-five books on topics including health, parenting, nutrition, medicine, education, and spirituality. Adding Excitement, Possibility, and Passion to Everyday Life Sometimes crushes serve the purpose of enlivening an otherwise committed, devoted domestic life.
Bring Your Sexy Back There is no moral wrongdoing in harboring a crush; the problems come when we act them out, possibly against our own values or in ways that harm others. You may also like.Sensitive and strong guy wants ltr
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